Keep Going
by Trufreak89
Summary: Because even if we don’t like it, life goes on. FB  Season four


**Title: **Keep going.

**Summary: **Because even if we don't like it, life goes on.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or anything related to the show.

**Rating: **PG

**A/N:** Femslash (F/B) I have no idea where the idea for this came from, although it helped with my writer's block.

"You could at least act like you give a damn." Buffy looked up from her notes to find Faith sitting beside her in the lecture hall. Professor Walsh and the students didn't seem to find her out of place and ignored her presence.

"You're not real." It wasn't the first time Buffy had fallen asleep in class and dreamt of the rogue slayer or been effected by some demon hallucinogenic.

"Never was to you." She quips. "Nothing we did was."

"Why are you here?" Buffy hissed, not sure why she was whispering in her own dream/demon gunk induced hallucination. "Prophecy or just to annoy me?"

"365."

"What?"

Faith rolled her eyes as the blonde and shook her head. "I guessed it wouldn't mean a thing to you B, nothing outside of your ego does. 365. Days." Realization dawned on Buffy like a storm cloud opening above her.

"That long, huh?" Was all she could manage. Faith stared at the professor at the front of the class and then at the students around her, all listening avidly or taking notes.

"Life moves on pretty quickly when you're in a coma." She muttered bitterly.

"I'm not." Buffy was confused. "You are."

Faith laughed quietly and gave her one of those badass grins that meant Faith knew something she didn't. "You sure about that B? Just because you're awake doesn't mean you're living. You repeat every day over and over and it's so dull and repetitive, even slaying's lost its edge. Let me take a wild stab in the dark here." Faith's shirt rose slightly as she stretched, deliberately allowing the knife she had tucked in her waistband to show. A warning to Buffy that she expected her undivided attention.

"You live each day, go to class, hang out at the bronze, fight the good fight, then go back to your room, all alone, and wonder, why? Why the hell do I keep doing this? Risking my ass day in day out for nothing? For people who, if they're honest, couldn't care less if they live or die? Hell, I bet more than a few of them are actually pissed you saved them." Buffy glared angrily. She wanted to shut Faith up, but aggravating an armed psychopath in a room full of innocent people wasn't a good idea.

She slipped an arm over Buffy's shoulders, leaning in close to whisper in her ear. "Admit it B. You feel it now don't you?"

"F-feel what?" Her voice cracked as Faith's hand slipped lower and casually brushed over her breast.  
"The desire." Faith purred. "To hunt. To hurt. It doesn't matter whether it's a demon or not, you just have to hunt something…it's the only thing that makes all the pain and the loneliness go away."

"You're-"  
"Don't tell me I'm wrong B!" She hissed, nipping her arm harshly as she did so. "See, I've been there B. Trust me, you feel a whole lot better when you just let go."

Buffy was close to tears, and it wasn't from the physical pain. "Like you did?" She snapped. "Abandon everyone who cares about me? Put them through hell? And for what? To waste my life in a coma?"

"You abandoned me first B." Faith sulked, her hand absently stroking the place she'd nipped the smaller girl. "You don't even remember-"

"I remember." The older slayer interrupted. "I remember every second Faith. I was scared ok? I just needed you there for me…and you just gave up. So don't you dare blame this on me." The bell for the end of class rang and Buffy collected her things. "And yes Faith. I have an urge to hunt now, but normal people, have self-control. I only hunt demons."

The slowly spreading smirk should have been enough warning for Buffy that something was wrong, but the mix of emotions within her was too distracting to pay it much attention.

As she went to pass Faith she was grabbed by her shirt and pulled against the taller slayer. She crushed her lips against the struggling blonde's and only pulled away once she'd stopped struggling and had kissed her back. "We're not normal people B. Remember that Princess." She winked and headed off down the stairs towards the exit, leaving the bewildered slayer by her seat.

Not for the first time in the year since they had ended their secret relationship, and Faith had turned evil, she wondered whether it really had been Faith's fault she'd given in to the dark, primal force that urged both slayers to hunt and to kill. Buffy had been able to ignore it to a certain extent, but she had Riley and her mom and Giles and the gang. Faith had had only Buffy. The girlfriend who was too ashamed to let anyone know about her and had forced her to stay in the darkness she had eventually turned to. She watched Faith pause at the exit of the near empty classroom and grin. She'd got what she wanted. Perfect little Buffy Summers was the reason Faith had turned away from the good fight and in to the open arms of the mayor, and she knew it.

"Happy anniversary B." She blew her a kiss before walking out. The older slayer slumped back in to her chair.

"Buffy?" The startled slayer snapped awake and found Riley staring down at her. "Class that fun huh?" He teased. She looked around and found it was dark outside. She'd fell asleep in the lesson and been left in the lecture theatre undisturbed.

"I have to go." She rushed past him and practically ran the distance to the hospital. She found her way to the room in the hospital she visited weekly. Every Sunday, four till eight. The nurse who was usually on duty when she visited approached her and Buffy's heart suddenly felt like it was made of lead. From the sombre look on her face the slayer could tell she wasn't going to like whatever the nurse had to say. She was ready to break as she thought that Faith's 'visit' while she was asleep could have been her goodbye.

"Buffy." They had long ago forgone the formalities. "Faith's gone."

"Oh god." The usually strong slayer lurched forward and had to be grabbed by the nurse. "How? When?"

"Last night. She just got up and walked out." Buffy froze.

"She was real." Her lips tingled at the thought. She had to find Faith. Make things right before she did anything stupid or hurt anyone.

She left the hospital and cut through one of the many cemeteries in order to get home quicker. She cried out as she ran through a patch of trees and tripped on a root.

She cursed her throbbing ankle until she was pounced on and pushed flat against the ground. "Happy anniversary babe." Faith's grin was predatory and lust filled. "Looks like we've got a year to make up for B."

Fin.


End file.
